You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
