so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize