I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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