I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
