i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize