I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
