You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
