We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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