I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
