I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
