It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Non-Jews are for practice
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
where does the pee come out of this thing
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
