They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
