i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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