fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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