I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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