Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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