Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
