Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
pray to the hookup gods
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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