i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
