this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize