it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize