there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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