69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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