are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
