"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i will never coherently bang her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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