My underwear smells like fireworks.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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