Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
