I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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