I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
