Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
