And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize