And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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