I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
