whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
