never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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