So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize