My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
