Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
