i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
