he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize