piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I love you.
Bad choice
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
