I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
