lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
