Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize