I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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