hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
