i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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