I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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