You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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