So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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