those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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