Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's never too late to be topless.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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