it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize