I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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