I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
