singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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