batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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