I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
