maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
