Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
