i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
