he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
