listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
