I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
