so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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