I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
