driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
