How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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