so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
