Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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